May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. If you are celebrating your second wedding, this quote might be the right one. To us, for this is the youngest well ever be and the oldest weve been. 11. Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tell, not just for the holidays, but all the year as well. May our penises always be harder than our lives. And if you drink, may you drink with me. Groucho Marx knew how to praise the glasses of life. What is this, asks the bartender, some kind of joke?. Poems are hard. "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.". And to make an end is to make a beginning. 12. 6. May they soon improve. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, Id like a beer and a mop., 54.) Another year has passed, and youre no older than the last! As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction. "May we all be alive at this same time next year." "May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live." "May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future." Now let's get to drinking! Heres to those whove seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and cant tell the difference. One cant deny that Homer Simpson is for sure a clever guy. What did the beer sing on the beach? 1. May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions. Thank you for buying us all dinner today. 9. 4. When we drink, we get drunk. May we kiss who we please, And please who we kiss. Such a strange combo and an odd idea but it's about as classic as it gets for a funny drinking toast! Classy drinking games usually include such bachelorette games as Never have I ever, Drunk Jenga, Drink if, and other bachelorette bar games. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip
I used to know a clever toast But now I cannot think of it. Here's to you. Heres to the brilliant, warm, handsome a company that you keep. 21. Heres to your liver! Beer! 39.) May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers. May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom. Hops is a plant. 3. 27. We know it is true that were wicked, That our criminal laws are lax; But heres to punishment for the man Who invented the income tax. May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. 17.) "I work until beer o'clock.". May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. I'm s. May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first. 57.) Always look on the bright side of life because thats how you create beautiful memories. 4. Heres to women. And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed. If you cheat, may you cheat death, If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart, If you fight, may you fight for a brother, And if you drink, may you drink with me. Looking for some fun party games to liven up your next get-together? Best Inappropriate Toasts Ever Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. May your liquor be cold, may your women be hot. 15.) A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer? The bartender replies, for you? If I should stumble out of this bar, I pray this night is worth the scar! May they never stop. But I know the test of Gods goodness is when he gave me a friend like you. As Bill and Ted once said: Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'. Welcome to Twitter if you are not already following a mom who drinks wine one will be assigned to you. The barman says, Have you been served?, 56.) A time traveler walks into a bar. Some are more casual, while others are formal. "Good Lord, he's done it again!". When we were young, we would compare liquor and women. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. It is best to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, ones present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason. "Here's to a long life and a happy one. Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you. May this be the least happy day of your life. (Hunter S. Thompson). And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand. Heres to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. 69.) Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. Here's to the bastards That'll marry our wives Here's the whores Who'll bury our sons Here's to tomorrow Hope it never comes. So lets all get drunk and go to heaven. With this said, where can I get the next cold beer bottle? May you live to wholeheartedly follow your bliss, and follow your bliss to live wholeheartedly. (Aw-vlee-an fee vosh-eh gwit) ****. 4. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom. Thank you for reading Funny Drinking Jokes. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). There are many benefits to using funny drinking toasts. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. 79.) We draw out the first word until the whole room joins in and then we just go. To prosperity! Thus, let us drink beer!Martin Luther, My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. Heres to the man who takes the pledge Who keeps his word and does not hedge Who wont give up and wont give in Till the last mans out and theres no more gin. All glasses off the table! Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. Don't think there are no second chances. 14.) May the best of your past be the worse of your future. 82.) Here's to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. Cookie Notice Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends . Enjoy!About us. Tears make you braver. My favorite has to be: Heres to hell, hope my stay there is as fun as my way there, To the men over sees and to the women on their knees, Heres to two things I dont fuck with, rattle snakes and condoms, Heres to courage. I fear my last words will be hold my beer and watch this.. Hopefully, you wont be too drunk to remember these drinking toasts when it matters. He's a good person. A common one before shotgunning in Alabama is 1,2,3 Robert E. Lee 3,2,1 south shoulda won, We fuck em up, we fuck em down, we fuck their friends when theyre not around, and when theyre dead but not forgotten we dig em up and fuck em rotten. Whether youre heading out on the town or day drinking during a lockdown, youll find just the right line to share with your friends. I had the strangest dream. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. Who loves not women, wine, and song, He will be a fool his whole life long. It is kind of easier to play naughty bachelorette party games and answer funny bachelorette questions when you have had a shot or two. Life always offers you a second chance It's called tomorrow. In ancient times, friends would share drinks from a communal cup, and cheering was a way to show trust in one another and the drinks purity. And vodka makes you not remember any of that cr*p. Heres to staying positive and testing negative! Heres to the brilliant, warm, handsome company that you keep. 37.) Cheers! Heres to the three rings of marriage, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. 31. For toasts that are primarily for men click here ; for toasts that are primarily for women click here . 1. If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. Cheers to beers and her legs behind her ears. My friend fell asleep in the bar, so I poured my ale on him to wake him up. 2. 5. Its a way to unify a group, mark a special occasion, or acknowledge someone. Humorous birthday toasts. 2. Others are long but great drinking toasts perfect for telling your closest friends. Beers so frothy, smooth and cold; Its paradise, pure liquid gold. (Mark Twain). "Trust me: You can dance Alcohol." Unknown "Responsible Drinking? 14. I dreamed that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. To the fall of the Roman Empire, may ours be just as memorable. It teases, it pleases, it spreads all diseases God what a snatch Down the hatch Here's to the hole that never heals The more you rub it the better it feels And all the soap this side of hell Won't wash away that fishy smell Here's to Hell May my stay there Be as much fun as my way there Here is to being single Seeing double and Sleeping triple Can you hold my beer?. Friends bring happiness into your life. May the mist of Irish magic shorten every road. "Here's to me, and here's to you, And here's to love and laughter . When I love them, I let them. Heres to those who wish us well, All the rest can go to hell. 5.) 28. When researching what makes a great best man toast, one piece of advice really stuck out. 9. Bawdy Drinking Toasts Bawdy Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. Heres to the fall of the Roman Empire. Next to a circus, there aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. It is a sign of appreciation and acceptance of the toast. Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: This drinks on me.. We drink to your coffin. When we drink, we get drunk. Check to see if it is in Getz I
To our sons! Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! 13. Learn more about Box of Puns. 4.) Suggested read: 15+ The Simpsons Trivia Questions & Facts Only Real Fans Know. And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. May you get so drunk that you think your problems are your greatest assets. Wine enough to sharpen wit, wit enough to give zest to wine, wisdom enough to shut down at the right time. And vodka makes you not remember any of that. ], [Retrieved from
below:Here's to me. In a bookshop, Temple Bar district. 6. And after my house and my wife. May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live. Knowing your audience plays a huge part in the success of a toast. A tennis ball walks into a bar. Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.Steve Martin, The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Humphrey Bogart, Beer is made by men, wine by God.Martin Luther, I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.Joe E. Ellis, Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.Tom Robbins, Work is the curse of the drinking classes.Oscar Wilde, I am a firm believer in the people. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. 63.) Home |
For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice. Champagne costs too much, Whiskeys too rough, Vodka puts big mouths in gear. Always remember to forget the things that made you sad. Traditionally, the act of clinking glasses before taking a drink is believed to have originated from warriors. Heres to those who have seen us at our best and seen at our worst and cant tell the difference. Some people like to start with a quote or funny saying. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit. Funny birthday toasts are always in style. Stay true to yourself forever! The third one ducked. There's endless Irish jokes. Happy birthday, darling! Itll hold you when no one else will. Guy in bar: Have you got anything to drink?Bartender: Water.Guy in bar: I meant something harder?Bartender: Ice.. When the liquor is inside, The pain goes elsewhere. My love grows for my foamy friend, With each thirst-quenching elbow bend. To my schizophrenic friend. May your net worth be like Ireland's capital, always Dublin. . To this fine person standing before me. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. Oct 4, 2020 - Explore Nathaniel G's board "military toasts" on Pinterest. May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, And never catch up. Heres to champagne for our real friends, and real pain to our sham friends. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies. 62.) Little fools drink too much, and great foods not at all. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts
40. I used to know a clever toast, but now I cannot think of it. On your birthday, remember: dont drink and tattoo. Son, when I was your age there was no social media. Ive trained my dog to bring me red wine.Its a Bordeaux collie. Let us drink with impunity Or anyone else whos buying. Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia. An ox walks into a bar. An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a barJust kidding, they know better. Irish Drinking Toasts. 7. The only toast we do is our drinking song. The light of the Christmas star to you. In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. Heres to Dame Fortune; may she smile upon you. May the very best of your past being the very worst of your future. Heres to lobster tail and beer. 28.) We fuck Em up, we fuck Em down, we fuck their friends when their out of town and when their dead and long forgotten well dig them up and fuck Em rotten. Heres to It, And to It again. There is nothing like sarcastic, goofy toasts. or Getz II or the other bawdy miscellanies. Happy birthday! Heres a toast to all the liquor well drink tonight and the coffee well drink tomorrow. Friendship: May differences of opinion cement it! Out with the old, in with the new, cheers to the future, and all that we do. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. 85.) 42.) 80.) It is better to spend money like theres no tomorrow Then to spend tonight like theres no money. Here's to the bride and here's to the groom and to the bride's father who'll pay for this room. till it's out of me and out of you. Heres to the nights well never remember with our friends, well never forget. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. 34. 86.) But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. 30.) PROGRAMAO. Two beer or not two beer, thats the question! William Shakesbeer. 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